I used to think of Father’s Day and other “new” holidays as a consumer-generated “Hallmark” initiative meant to force “celebration” and encourage purchasing by a nation so often filled with sentimental folks. Now that I am a father, I have changed my tune about Father’s day … I still know it’s a Hallmark holiday but I enjoy the day in a way I never could have imagined. Having children changes a lot of things ….
This year, my children made me special Father’s Day cards, let me take a nap on the couch (for just a few minutes before jumping on me!), and set the table for my favorite meal (open faced turkey, mashed potatoes and lots of gravy!). Watching them comport themselves as they usually do in Church, I remembered to thank God for blessing me with them.
Early this week, Carol asked me if I wanted anything for Father’s Day. I surprised myself by saying that I wanted to buy Maddie and Edward fishing poles. This seemed like a great idea – then we could all go and drown worms together (while I like to fish and was taught how by my father, I follow in his example and rarely catch many!). On Saturday, we visited Paul’s Tackle Shop on Chippewa (ShopLocalHireLocal.com!) and bought two rods, two reels and a license for me. The kids were as impressed by the plastic worms as the rods but we are ready for worm-drowning.
Recently, after a long conversation with a friend, I found myself reflecting on the Gospel of John 1:114: “And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us.” The Lord, in his generosity to each of us as His children, gave us His Son … but He did so in a special way: this Son was sent down to live and dwell among us. That is, He was part of our lives right here on Earth. The Lord could have infused us with grace in any way He wanted. He could have enlightened us or turned our hearts. Instead, He gave His Son to live and be among us … to be one of us. This was more than just generous as I believe the Lord was teaching us how to be present with one other.
The best celebration of Father’s Day – or most any holiday, it seems to me – is to simply be together. Having the children and my amazing wife around and underfoot this weekend – amidst campaign events, meals, church, or whatever – reminded me that the central mystery of human loving is being together. We model the Creator’s love for us in being together.
This is why the epidemic of children who are left without the presence of their fathers is so terrible. When we look back on the ill-fated “War on Poverty” that began in the 1960s, we see that social engineering that created more dependency on a welfare state also drove families apart. Every man who does not live up to his paternal responsibility has robbed themselves of a wonderful thing. Each of these men, if they understood the depths of their loss, would curse the paternalist government that creates incentives for fatherless children.
A large part of Father’s Day is marking the fathers who are deceased and the sense of loss for their families. I know that my parents, my siblings and I wish we could spend time with my grandfathers, both of whom have long ago faced their maker. I never met my paternal grandfather, a World War II veteran who died nearly a decade before I was born. My maternal grandfather, Phillip, was a dominant part of my life for the first fourteen years. He remains a hero to me; a man whose presence in my life as teacher, friend, and grandfather, is a model for my life today.
On Saturday, I helped my children record a video message for their grandfathers that we emailed to them today. With this email, I wish all fathers, grandfathers, and future fathers a happy father’s day. I pray especially for those fathers who are serving in our Armed Forces and who are away from home.
Finally, to Our Father who art in Heaven, I offer thanksgiving for His creation and especially for His son who dwelt among us.
Ed
